Hardest thing about mornings...

The hardest part of the morning is probably when I first wake up and I take "inventory" of how my body feels. Morning after morning one of the first things to register is pain. Then disappointment. Disappointment that the day will undoubtedly be tainted with pain. Disappointment that again I can't do the things I used to without causing great pain. Disappointment that I'll see the pain and anguish in my parents eyes as they watch me writhe in pain. The helplessness I see in Sam's eyes as he tries to comfort me. Disappointment that it will be another day of just surviving, not living. Disappointment that it will be another day in isolation.