I don't even know if anyone actually reads these, and if they do do they even care? I've withdrawn a lot these past few months because I didn't want anyone to know that I've gotten worse. My pain has spiked and I'm having more bad days than good days again. People don't like hearing the same old story, the same excuses, the same lies that "I'm doing good.". People don't realize that when you're sick your social life consists of my family, Sam and dr.'s appointments. I don't interact with anyone else. I only leave the house to go to the dr.'s and to the dairy with Sam( the joys of harvest season. Only way I get to spend time with him is to go milking with him.). People are too busy living their own lives that they can't take the time to sit and watch a movie with me. Their lives are so "go, go, go" that they don't even think to stop and think about how I'm doing.
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| How I spent the 4th of July |
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| After my colonoscopy/endoscopy April 2015 |
Through all of this Sam has stayed by my side. He's gone to dr.'s appointments, he even took me for my colonoscopy/endoscopy because my parents couldn't. He never holds my health against me. To him I'm just me. I'm not the sick Kate or the healthy Kate. I'm just his Kate. I don't know where I'd be without him. He's brought me out of the pits of despair several times. When I feel like I can't go on living like this he's right there telling me I can. Giving me a reason to hang on. I know I wouldn't still be here without him. These last two and a half years have been the happiest of my life, the hardest but none the less the happiest. I can't even put into words how much Sam means to me. I always brag about him to everyone, not to rub it in their face but trying to show Sam what he is to me.
Anyways, I have a few dr.s appointments and most likely tests coming up in the near future to diagnose additional conditions. I'll try and keep everyone updated but please understand if I don't want to talk. It's going to take time to process the test results and be able to get me functioning again.
Well, bye for now.
Kate, I've missed your blog! It hasn't gone un-noticed that you've drawn away from people. I've been keeping an eye out for you on groups but I think you've left them all. Even if it's only to vent use your blog and the groups. You don't have to keep all this inside honey. Let me know if you need to chat x x x
ReplyDeleteSorry, I'm not completely sure who you are? I did leave a few groups on fb, too much drama. I honestly didn't know anyone read these or even enjoyed reading about my crazy life. I'm glad that it's helping someone.
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